7 Tips for Eating Out with a Picky Eater
For parents of picky eaters, the thought of eating out can be nothing short of a nightmare. Whether its going to a restaurant on a weekend, a friend’s house or visiting family, worries about interfering with mealtime schedules or what your child will or won’t eat can take all the pleasure out of the experience.
I am very passionate about supporting parents with this. Perhaps because when I was a child my sister, brother and I were all fussy with food. I remember my parents taking us out time and time again to the local family restaurant ‘Poppins’ with its kids’ menu of mighty-meaty burgers, dinosaur fillets, chicken nuggets and, our personal (and only) favourite: fish fingers with chips. To this day I remember my parents ordering us a side of sliced cucumber because we wouldn’t eat the baked beans that came with the kids meal. To this day my mum will say: “You were all impossible eaters… it was the only place we could go!” Needless to say, it wasn’t until I met my foodie boyfriend (now husband!) at the age of 19 that I was encouraged to broaden my food horizons - albeit reluctantly.
Mealtimes are about more than just food
Remember that one meal is just a snapshot of your child’s overall food intake. It will be far more beneficial to enjoy the eating out experience together rather than focus on what is or isn’t being eaten. Let them just eat the bread or the chips if needs be! Exposure to a variety of different foods and cuisines, and observing people eating and enjoying them, is a great starting point – there’s plenty of time for tasting later.
While your child chews on a breadstick, picks at olives or munches on chips, they are also watching a happy table. They are listening to and joining in with conversation. They are experiencing connection and togetherness. They are learning about how to enjoy a mealtime from those they see around them eating a variety of foods, chatting and having fun. This is key to helping children learn about eating well.
7 tips for a positive eating out experience:
Be flexible within your usual mealtime structure. Don’t stress if you know you’re going to be travelling or socialising over the time when your child usually eats - just offer them a bigger breakfast or more substantial snack before you leave, or take bits and pieces with you.
Take the focus off the food - and park nutritional concerns. Remember one day or one meal is a snapshot of the full picture. This should enable you to focus on the experience of being out and having some fun.
Always make sure there’s one of your child’s accepted foods available, or bring a little tub of cooked pasta pieces, cheese, sandwich or other accepted food from home if you are not sure what will be on offer. The presence of a familiar food will help your child feel less anxious about the mealtime.
Remind yourself that – even if only chewing on a piece of bread – your child is learning about food and eating by watching others. Sociable mealtimes are a valuable opportunity for role modelling.
Never pressure your child to eat something they don’t want to. Even seemingly harmless phrases like “just have one little bite” or “it’s delicious you’ll love it if you try” can feel very pressurising to an anxious or avoidant eater.
Don’t negotiate with dessert or use it as a bribe. If dessert is part of the meal that everyone else is enjoying, your child should be offered it regardless of what else they have or haven’t eaten.
Keep mealtimes short and expectations in check. Children can get quickly bored and frustrated. Its better not to drag it out so everyone can leave feeling happy. As they get older they’ll be able to sit for longer.
Remember, you are not alone. A large majority of my enquiries are from parents who feel stressed about their children’s eating. If you want to chat about it with someone who understands and will give you non-judgemental support and reassurance drop me an email at hello@juliawolman.co.uk and let’s talk. I’d love to hear from you and support you on your journey towards stress-free mealtimes.